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In Parshat Toldot, we learn about the hostile relationship and differences between Yaakov and Eisav, and their constant fighting that even existed while they were still in Rivka’s womb. Eisav becomes a man of the field while Yaakov stays in the tent learning.  The Torah explicitly tells us that in their family Yitzchak favors Eisav while Rivka prefers Yaakov (Bereishit 25:28). One day after Eisav has been working and hunting outside, he returns tired and famished. With the sight and smell of the lentils he has been cooking, Yaakov manipulates Eisav to do what he wants, namely to sell him the sacred birthright. As time goes by, Yitzchak is going blind and wants to bless Eisav before he dies. However, while Eisav is out hunting food for his father, Rivka dresses Yaakov up as Eisav in order to deceive Yitzchak into giving Yaakov the blessing. Once Eisav finds out what has happened, Yaakov is forced to flee from his home and seek shelter in Charan.     

Reading this Parsha alone, it seems possible that Eisav is not the antagonist after all.  Rather it might seem like Yaakov is the villain, for he is the one demonstrating trickery and deceit. Yaakov not only tricks his brother into selling him the birthright, but also misleads his father into giving him Eisav’s blessing.  If Eisav seems to be the victim in the story, but we believe that Yaakov is the righteous one of the two, what went wrong for Eisav?  Perhaps one could suggest that Eisav and Yaakov together could have been part of expanding the Jewish nation just like all of Yaakov’s twelve sons, and that it did not necessarily need to be one or the other.  Yaakov’s learning curve seems to occur when he goes to work in the house of Lavan.  There he himself gets tricked multiple times by Lavan, working numerous years just to end up with the wrong wife. This experience might have been what taught Yaakov that deception is not ethical.  His experiences at Lavan’s were the ones that shaped his morals for the rest of his life.  Unlike Yaakov, Eisav did not go through the same type of traumas and never had his big learning curve to change the way he believes and operates.  Technically Yaakov got lucky and used his experiences to teach him positive lessons.

We can learn an important lesson from this Parsha: you can change your own destiny by the way you let life experiences effect and shape you. Similarly at Midreshet Amit we can learn a lot from all the different experiences we will encounter throughout the year and if we choose to make positive choices from them, it can make all the difference.