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Throughout life, everyone deals with fear in some way. Some people’s fears are small, and some are great. Either way, fear is an emotion that can take over one’s thoughts. In this weeks’ Parsha, Parshat Vayishlach, Yaakov Avinu is faced with his deepest fear. He has been running from his brother Esav for twenty years, thinking that Esav’s one goal in life was to have Yaakov killed. Yaakov sends angels with an abundance of gifts to Esav in hopes of appeasing him before the two of them meet. The idea that Yaakov sent so many gifts beforehand shows that he was so afraid of what was coming, that it was taking over his whole life. He wanted to do whatever he could to protect himself and his family. However, this was not enough to conquer his fear. On his way to meet Esav, Yaakov wrestled with an angel all night long. The angel is meant to represent Esav’s spirit. By sending gifts Yaakov is trying to conquer his fears, but in a purely superficial way. In order for Yaakov to truly get over his fear he needed to struggle both physically and mentally. In his struggle with the angel, he emerged physically wounded, but emotionally stronger. While Yaakov did come out victorious at the end of the wrestling match, he wasn’t able to come out unharmed. His wounds were proof that he was able to look inside himself, and inside his relationship with Esav to figure out how to conquer his fear. It was only after this that Yaakov was able to meet Esav. When Esav saw Yaakov, Esav could finally see that Yaakov struggled, and that Yaakov was finally self-aware. Esav ultimately embraced Yaakov. At this point, Yaakov’s greatest fear was conquered because he looked inside himself to overcome it.

In our lives, we have certain fears that we try to hide from, and cover up. We think that if we avoid our fears, then we will never have to face them. However, in order to truly conquer them, we must face them, and find within ourselves the root of them. Once we find the root, and struggle with them, while we may come out physically wounded, mentally we will be victorious. Shabbat Shalom!