Midreshet Amit

• LIVE TORAH:
• Academic Program
• Yimei Iyun
• FAQ
• Recent Shiurim
• View by Parsha
• View By Chag
• Search Database
• Ask the Rav

 
The wisest man who ever lived, Shlomo haMelech, teaches us the most fundamental insight into Jewish education, “Chanoch lenaar al pi darko, educate the child according to his way.” While these words have and continue to motivate the way parents parent and teachers teach, what do they mean?
 
Parshas Toldos introduces us to Yaakov and Esav from their early moments in the womb. The Torah tells us “וַֽיִּגְדְּלוּ֙ הַנְּעָרִ֔ים וַיְהִ֣י עֵשָׂ֗ו אִ֛ישׁ יֹדֵ֥עַ צַ֖יִד אִ֣ישׁ שָׂדֶ֑ה וְיַעֲקֹב֙ אִ֣ישׁ תָּ֔ם יֹשֵׁ֖ב אֹהָלִֽים When the boys grew up, Esav became a skillful hunter, a man of the outdoors; but Jacob was a mild man who stayed in camp.” Rashi explains,
 
ויגדלו … ויהי עשו. כָּל זְמַן שֶׁהָיוּ קְטַנִּים, לֹא הָיוּ נִכָּרִים בְּמַעֲשֵׂיהֶם, וְאֵין אָדָם מְדַקְדֵּק בָּהֶם מַה טִּיבָם; כֵּיוָן שֶׁנַּעֲשׂוּ בְנֵי שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה, זֶה פֵּרֵשׁ לְבָתֵּי מִדְרָשׁוֹת וְזֶה פֵּרֵשׁ לַעֲ"זָ: 
And they grew … and esav was — So long as they were young they could not be distinguished by what they did and no one paid much attention to their characters, but when they reached the age of thirteen, one went his way to the houses of learning and the other went his way to the idolatrous temples (Genesis Rabbah 63:10)

In his sefer Imrei Baruch, Rav Baruch Simon Shlit”a quotes Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch who explains that Yaakov and Esav were not only born physically different, but their personalities and characters were worlds apart as well. Unfortunately, they were not treated as such. According to Rav Hirsch, Esav became the wicked Esav we know today because he was treated and educated no different than Yaakov. When we have a one size fits all approach to education, we ultimately do more harm than good. 
 
Gillian Lynne, who was well known on Broadway as a talented dancer, choreographer, and actress, had tremendous difficulties in school growing up. She was known by all her teachers as the girl who just couldn’t sit still. When she was not older than seven, her mother took her to the psychiatrist after her school expressed concerns about her in class performance. After sitting with the doctor and her daughter for some time trying to explain the list of concerns expressed by Gillian’s teachers, the doctor asked Gillian’s mother to join him outside the office for a moment. Before leaving the room, the doctor turned on the music inside and walked out with her mother. From the office window Gillian’s mother and the doctor watched how Gillian began to jump and twirl around the room. She was completely engrossed in the music playing. It was at that moment that the doctor turned to Mrs. Lynne and said “There is nothing wrong with your child. She is a dancer.” The doctor then recommended she attend a dance school.
 
Shlomo HaMelech instructs us “Chanoch lenaar al pi darko.” Like Esav, every child is different. If we acknowledge this, we can bring out the best in every individual. While educators and parents are meant to recognize what makes a child or student unique, we are meant to look at ourselves in the same light. It is only with our distinctive strengths and weaknesses that we can reach our full potential.